Woody Harrelson Film Festival

Where were you when the world stopped turning? No, I'm not talking about the day Princess Diana died, which incidentally was 23 years ago TODAY. No, I'm talking about 9/11, and Alan Jackson's beautiful song about it, "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning). Jackson asks an important question here , and supplies many possible answers—were you watching I Love Lucy reruns? Were you teaching a class full of innocent children (as opposed to a class full of guilty children)? Jackson also, of course, supplies us with what I believe to be one of the most important verses in all the history of songwriting: I'm just a singer of simple songs I'm not a real political man I watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell you The diff'rence in Iraq and Iran But I know Jesus and I talk to God And I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us And the greatest is love  Now, I think Alan is being modest—this is in no way a ...

Whenever I sit down to watch a new Woody movie, I like to know as little about the movie as possible. It makes the experience sort of exhilerating—where will Woody pop up?!—and, in my opinion, makes my reviews feel fresh and full of life. That's why when I saw the tiny thumbnail for North Country  on the xfinity website, I thought the woman depicted wearing rugged mining clothes was Jane Seymour.  In case you didn't already know, Jane Seymour is the star of my favorite woke 90s TV show, Dr Quinn Medicine Woman (importantly, a TV show which I believe should  have a comma in the title, but doesn't, both on the TV Guide and when it's written out on the box of the DVDs). Jane Seymour plays the titular role, a lady doctor who has travelled out west from her cushy life in Boston to the frontier of Colorado Springs after the Civil War. There she encounters all kinds of fabulous types, like Sully, the rugged former miner who spends most of his time throwing his tomahawk, walkin...

I think it's interesting that this, the second movie I've viewed on this grand adventure with a motif of tube-related crime, is called 'No Country For Old Men,' because something I noticed while watching it was that there were actually a couple old men in it, and they don't even die. I think that some would have me believe it is called this because it is a line from a famous poem, and is a reference to the disillusionment Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (an old man) feels with these modern times.... kids have green hair and nose piercings, and guys do violence with tubes. He probably feels like he doesn't belong in Texas anymore because of all these crazy kids and their newfangled violence, thus making the country not one which is for an old man. Nonetheless, he's there, and time sort of goes on no matter what, and things have always been bad in one way or another. He should probably get over it. That being said, I have a few ideas of other names this movie (yeah, I kno...

This is the only good superhero movie.

S o, Woody Harrelson has brown eyes at the end of this movie  E ven though I know they didn't actually put Will Smith's eyes into Woody's skull, it still looks V ery weird! E ventually you probably would get used to it but since it only happens at the end of the movie you don't really get a chance to N ot that I have anything against brown eyes! I have brown eyes! One time in my senior year of high school I had to go home after fifteen minutes because my eyes got really P uffy and I was crying in the bathroom stall outside the auditorium. I'm not sure if it was allergies O r something. Anyway this movie also has Rosario Dawson in it who was in Rent. Recently Rosario has been in the news because she was dating U nsuccessful presidential candidate Cory Booker, someone I think  N obody likes, probably not even Rosario D awson. S hocking (that's a description of this movie, which really did have a shocking ending but that might have been only because I probably was ...

This movie has Nick Jonas in it. I did not know this movie had Nick Jonas until about halfway through, which I believe is more an indictment of how interesting this movie   was than it is of my ability to notice Nick Jonas, which I actually think is probably above average (even when he's disguising his voice in what can only be described as a 1940s accent). Make of that what you will! The only other thing worth note here, I believe, is the absolute movie magic involved in giving Woody such a marvelous head of hair in the year 2019, by which time we all know him to have been quite bald! Kudos!!! A better shot of the hair in question—I suppose it's also worth note that at the time I'm writing this, Woody in Midway  and I BOTH have the same shade of sorority girl blonde hair <3 We're so connected!