The Messenger (2009) - ★★☆☆☆

In my opinion, two stars is the worst rating a movie can get on a five star scale. At least if a movie has one star, it means you felt strongly about it! But when a movie is only worth two stars, well, that just means it was kind of bad. Not awful. Not hateful. Not disgusting. Just kind of dumb. And that's no fun!

I was expecting for this movie to at least make me cry. Despite my general feeling that the army is bad and no one should join it, I have been known on many occasions to stop scrolling on Facebook if I see a video called, for example, "Soldier Surprises His Family By Coming Home For Christmas." And if I do stop to watch a video like that, I WILL cry about it.

But this movie couldn't even manage that (and trust me, it's not really a high bar)! It made me feel bad for the main character, and I did feel extremely sad and uncomfortable when I had to watch my hero, Woody Harrelson, cry. But it didn't make ME cry, and as much as this blog is about Woody, I'd say it's at least a little bit about me, too.

Also, the main character wore these really terrible sunglasses through the whole movie:

They really give me the heebie-jeebies.

Even looking at them makes my blood boil!

Fortunately, Woody, as always, managed to turn things around a little bit (as he always does!), especially when he wore these sick aviators:

The other good thing about this movie is it added two more hats to my list of Woody's hats! Before you log off, be sure to check out the updated rankings!!

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The Thin Red Line (1998) - ★★★★☆

Today, I am reminded of a poem by Stephen Crane titled " War is Kind ." This is a pretty tricky poem to understand, because the narrator keeps repeating the phrase "war is kind" throughout the poem. But at the same time, you sort of get the feeling that war, in fact, is not kind at all. When something is so contradictory, it's easy to get lost in the weeds; one might simply assume that this Stephen Crane guy, whoever he is, does not really have a mastery of the English language. That, or maybe he wrote the poem on opposite day. I'd like to proffer another possible solution to this issue. Maybe Stephen Crane was being ironic! If you think about it, 'kind' is probably one of the last words anyone would use to describe war. Even people who think war is good probably would not call it 'kind'—killing people is not really a 'kind' activity, any more than being killed is 'nice' or 'fun.' The Thin Red Line , a movie which is n...

The Hi-Lo Country (1998) - ★★★★★

A shockingly underrated and under-talked about Woody Harrelson masterpiece. Reminsicent of the classic Marty Robbins banger, "Tall Handsome Stranger," this is a must watch for cowboy fans and Woody Harrelson fans alike. Unequivocally Woody's best cowboy role!!!!!

Edtv (1999) - ★★★☆☆

I love friendship!!!!!!! I love it when people are friends!!! Whenever I come across a new set of friends, I filled with a sense of delight so large I dare not even put it into words. The friendship that has dominated most of my summer is that of Special Agent Dale Cooper and Sheriff Harry S. Truman from David Lynch's Twin Peaks . Harry and Coop are a perfect example of everything a good pair of friends should strive to be. They love hanging out together and enjoy doing many activities with one another, from eating donuts, to drinking coffee, to solving murders, to entering evil zones. Harry and Coop sharing a beautiful friendship moment!!! When I sat down to watch Edtv , the last thing I expected was that I would learn of another friendship as beautiful as the one shared by Harry and Dale. But expectations be damned! That's exactly what happened. Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaaheuseygh met on the set of Edtv in 1999, and since then, they have been the best of friends, b...

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