Out of the Furnace (2013) - ★★☆☆☆

This movie taught me two things.

The first is what Christian Bale looks like.

He looks like this (at least in this movie. I'm pretty sure that other times he looks like batman).

Second: There is a type of movie which I could only enjoy if the characters had Boston accents and if I was watching it in a dark movie theater with a box of peanut M&M's. Otherwise, it is impossible for me to be interested. Out of the Furnace is that kind of movie. I can't think of any others that fit this description, but I think they do exist. You'll just have to trust me on this one! One movie I can think of that was kind of like this, but that I did see in a dark movie theater with a box of peanut M&M's, and in which the characters did have Boston accents in, is Manchester by the Sea, which is a movie I did enjoy, probably because of these specific circumstances. Anyway, even Woody's presence in Out of the Furnace wasn't enough to hold my attention here (even with these very fun, very specifically useful, tattoos.)

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) - ★☆☆☆☆

People are always asking me, "Fiona, why, on your quest to watch every Woody Harrelson movie, are you including movies that you absolutely know you will hate, and that Woody is only in for two seconds, appearing as himself, in the last minute of the movie? Wouldn't it be easier to simply find clips of Woody's performances in these movies rather than subjecting yourself to the grueling two hours it would take to watch the whole thing?" I'd like to answer their questions with a few of my own: How will I truly understand Woody's performance in such movies if I don't watch the whole thing? Would a true fan of Woody Harrelson not subject themselves to the greatest pain to support him? How could I claim to be the world's foremost Woody Harrelson expert if I did not watch the entirety of every movie that he appears in? The answers to these questions are, respectively, "I couldn't!" "They would!" and "I couldn't!" So here ...

The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996) - ★★★★★

In lieu of our usual programming, I present you today with an ode to the outfits of Larry Flynt. This was a good movie which I enjoyed.

Transsiberian (2008) - ★★★★☆

If you're not familiar with Andrew Lloyd Webber's seminal classic, Starlight Express, it's likely we've never met, for hardly a conversation goes by in which I do not find the opportunity to bring it up. Under the unlikely circumstances that you are not familiar with the piece, I'll offer a brief description, and then, assuming that your interest has been suitable peaked, leave you to do further research on your own. Starlight Express is a 1984 masterpiece from the mind of the one and only Andrew Lloyd Webber, creator of such hits as Cats , Jesus Christ Superstar , The Phantom of the Opera , and The Phantom of the Opera' s sequel, Love Never Dies , which, naturally, takes place at Coney Island. Starlight Express is the first musical which was ever performed fully on rollerblades. Why does every single actor in the show wear rollerblades, you ask? The answer, really, is quite simple—they're all trains! While Starlight Express wasn't a major hit in the...

Woody Harrelson Film Festival

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