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Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) - ★☆☆☆☆

Whatever charm the first Zombieland movie had completely wore off for this movie. Maybe it's because the whole Jessie Eisenberg thing is getting pretty old. Maybe it's because the depiction of zombies, creatures which fall generally into the same category as vampires and werewolves, absolutely pales in comparison to the supernatural beings depicted in the Twilight series. Maybe it's because it brings me deep, existential, sadness to see Woody partake in the kind of """"comedy"""" popularized by famous superhero movie franchises—Woody is very funny. He shouldn't have to stoop to these levels!

Whatever the reason, this movie was drab and sad and all too focused on pleasing the kind of audience which most blockbuster movies from the past couple years seem to attempt to please—an audience I'm not sure exists beyond the ranks of funko pop collectors, people with Doctor Who references on their license plates, and the most powerfully evil of them all—people who love to go to Disney Land. 

Furthermore, I am of the opinion that if you're going to make extended references to Elvis, which this movie does, you better mention his greatest work, "In The Ghetto," a song unlike any other. Zombieland: Double Tap fails spectacularly on that front, too. 

I can't even remember at this point what I liked about the first movie in this series, but I do feel like I thought it was okay. After this sequel, I feel almost compelled to revoke even that mildly positive rating.

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