Skip to main content

The Grand (2007) - ★★★★☆



I don't know how to play poker. I assume it's kind of like Yahtzee, which I also don't know how to play. I don't think poker has the only fun looking part of Yahtzee, where you shake the dice in the red cup and it makes a loud noise. Both of them are about numbers (I think), which means I do not care about them.

Actually, since I last blogged on here, I passed an important life milestone, which is that I finished the last science class I'll ever have to take in my life. I finished the last math class of my life a year ago, which means that my life is now officially STEM free. I can now give my mind entirely over to purer pursuits—stuff like wishing I could be a seamstress one hundred years ago, wishing I had a Nintendo switch so I could play Lego Harry Potter, and of course, Woody Harrelson. I'm actually on a quest to scourge my mind of all math/science related "knowledge" (knowledge, I ask you, according to who?). It's working pretty well. I don't think I could do a multiplication table if you asked me to, and I'm looking into becoming a flat earther (I've said it before, I'll say it again, Big Science is as bad as Big Oil or Big Corporations). 

All that being said, The Grand certainly achieved its most important task—not focussing so much on its math-adjacent aspects that I couldn't like it on a matter of principle. They put pictures of cards on the screen, and I'm assuming a real poker head would be able to know what was going on, but I just ignored them. There was always helpful dialogue to let me know who was winning.

This is a pretty classic role for Woody—I think that aside for the police man/soldier role, the Las Vegas cowboy type is one of his most common characters. And that's okay! Why mess with a good thing?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) - ★☆☆☆☆

People are always asking me, "Fiona, why, on your quest to watch every Woody Harrelson movie, are you including movies that you absolutely know you will hate, and that Woody is only in for two seconds, appearing as himself, in the last minute of the movie? Wouldn't it be easier to simply find clips of Woody's performances in these movies rather than subjecting yourself to the grueling two hours it would take to watch the whole thing?" I'd like to answer their questions with a few of my own: How will I truly understand Woody's performance in such movies if I don't watch the whole thing? Would a true fan of Woody Harrelson not subject themselves to the greatest pain to support him? How could I claim to be the world's foremost Woody Harrelson expert if I did not watch the entirety of every movie that he appears in? The answers to these questions are, respectively, "I couldn't!" "They would!" and "I couldn't!" So here ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996) - ★★★★★

In lieu of our usual programming, I present you today with an ode to the outfits of Larry Flynt.  This was a good movie which I enjoyed.
Post a Comment
Read more

Transsiberian (2008) - ★★★★☆

If you're not familiar with Andrew Lloyd Webber's seminal classic, Starlight Express,  it's likely we've never met, for hardly a conversation goes by in which I do not find the opportunity to bring it up. Under the unlikely circumstances that you are not familiar with the piece, I'll offer a brief description, and then, assuming that your interest has been suitable peaked, leave you to do further research on your own.  Starlight Express is a 1984 masterpiece from the mind of the one and only Andrew Lloyd Webber, creator of such hits as Cats , Jesus Christ Superstar , The Phantom of the Opera , and  The Phantom of the Opera' s sequel, Love Never Dies , which, naturally, takes place at Coney Island. Starlight Express  is the first musical which was ever performed fully on rollerblades. Why does every single actor in the show wear rollerblades, you ask? The answer, really, is quite simple—they're all trains! While Starlight Express wasn't a major hit in the...
Post a Comment
Read more