Wildcats (1986) - ★★★☆☆

Much as Rain Man is a film primarily about Tom Cruise's high waisted pants, Wildcats is a movie primarily about Goldie Hawn's incredible haircut. It's a haircut that makes it hard to notice anything else in the film. Even when Goldie isn't on screen, you're still just sitting there, thinking about that haircut. Which is probably fortunate, considering other haircuts in the movie (more specifically—though it pains me to say it—Woody's early onset of male pattern baldness which isn't necessarily convincing when he's playing a high school student) aren't particularly remarkable. 

Like other great gym class movies (Miracle, Cool Runnings, and so forth), Wildcats is a movie about the underdog sports team and their inspiring coach. We never watched this one in gym class, though, which I'm choosing to believe is due to societal prejudice against Woody Harrelson, and not because of its R rating. People love to say they love Woody Harrelson, but they hardly ever put in the work. Regardless, it's fun to see such a young Woody, even if he is already balding. This was right around the time he smashed into fame with his role on Cheers, so the whole Wildcats team must have been pretty excited to be working with such wonderful young talent. Little did they know the incredible career that lay before him! How lucky we are to witness it!

Okay, now check out this haircut!!!!!