Woody Harrelson Film Festival

If Pa was here he simply would have taken Freddy fishing and talked some sense into him and then everything would be better. Not sure what Laura was doing in the big city, anyway.

I was all ready to write a terribly mean review of this awful movie. I would have said that John Hughes was a stupid annoying baby who thought he was sooooo special and sooooo quirky and that his characters were soooooo unique that they were the only ones in the world who ever felt like they didn't quite fit into suburban life. I would have said that he should have stopped making movies long ago; in fact, I would have said that the only movie he ever should have made is Pretty in Pink . I would have said that Kevin Bacon looked like and idiot, and I would have pointed out that Alec Baldwin grew up to play the boss baby. I would have mentioned that the only good thing in the whole movie was the mom from Downton Abbey's haircut. I only got madder when the credits began to roll and I realized that Woody had not been in the movie at all. Was this another false alarm? Another movie for me to suffer through for no reason? I was opening this page to type out my furious blog post when ...

It was around this time in my Woody Harrelson Film Festival—that is to say, the day before the night when I watched this movie—that I came to the realization I had in fact failed to include several movies from Woody's filmography on my master list of (supposedly) every movie Woody Harrelson had ever been in, and thus I was not so close to completing my task as I had previously believed. It was a hard blow, at first. Almost demoralizing. Here I was, having spent more than a year of my life believing I had a list of Woody's every movie, and all along that list had been incomplete. It's a matter of the Wikipedia article of Woody's filmography  not being complete (something I intend to take up with the editors in due course) and my own late decision to include TV movies and subsequently not being careful enough to make sure I discovered every TV movie Woody's been in.  In the end, though, I'm grateful for this mistake, because otherwise I never would have had the bl...

When God closes a door, he opens a window.  And boy, does this movie feels like a hundred doors slammed in your face all at once. Bad inspiration. Bad plot. Bad characters. Bad outfits. Is there even a window in this limp and lackluster drudgery for God to open? You know the answer, of course. It's the reason you're here. It's the reason I'm here. It's the reason the world still spins on its axis and the sun rises in the morning.  It's Woody Harrelson! Here's your window, God. Thanks for opening it :) 

Glasses Woody: ✅ Father figure Woody: ✅ Woody committing crimes: ✅ Roadtrip: ✅ Unlikely friendship: ✅ Sweeping western landscapes: ✅ Tragic death: ✅ Whimsical circumstances: ✅ Astonishing visual effects: ✅ An opportunity for me to think about Sully from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: ✅ Good ending: ❌ 

Not really anything special! Only wait I just remembered at the end Woody's character is in jail and he decides he wants to be an author or something (????) and so he pulls out his type writer and then the camera zooms in on the paper and he types out the credits. Which I thought was nice. 

I just think it would have been smarter to make this movie before all the original star war movies so they would actually been able to have a young harrison ford play the role of "Han Solo." Then I wouldn't have to watch it because Woody wouldn't have been in it.