Harper Valley P.T.A. (1978)

Harper Valley P.T.A. (1978) - ★★☆☆☆

When God closes a door, he opens a window.

And boy, does this movie feels like a hundred doors slammed in your face all at once. Bad inspiration. Bad plot. Bad characters. Bad outfits. Is there even a window in this limp and lackluster drudgery for God to open?

You know the answer, of course. It's the reason you're here. It's the reason I'm here. It's the reason the world still spins on its axis and the sun rises in the morning.

It's Woody Harrelson!

Here's your window, God.

Thanks for opening it :)

Comments

The Big White (2005) - ★★★☆☆

It is, perhaps, a little-known fact that a movie only needs exactly one (1) ingredient to be a good movie. That ingredient is not a good director (what even is a director? The guy who clacks the black and white thing and shouts "action!"?). That ingredient is not beautiful cinematography (though The Big White has no shortage of that. I really liked the vast snowy landscapes and also the matching snowy whiteness of the insurance office, especially since it was snowing outside my window while I watched this movie and I guess that just felt serendipitous). That ingredient is not an incredible and talented cast—something I think everyone agree this movie has (Robin Williams, yes, but also this guy , who looks like Pete "Mad Men" Campbell, but isn't. I like him a lot and would like to see more of him!). That ingredient is not even—dare I say it?—Woody Harrelson. Many a movie, in fact, as this blog evidences, is very bad in spite of Woody's wonderful presence. ...

The Hi-Lo Country (1998) - ★★★★★

A shockingly underrated and under-talked about Woody Harrelson masterpiece. Reminsicent of the classic Marty Robbins banger, "Tall Handsome Stranger," this is a must watch for cowboy fans and Woody Harrelson fans alike. Unequivocally Woody's best cowboy role!!!!!

LBJ (2016) - ★☆☆☆☆

I'm horrified! They should not have done this to Woody! Why did they need to make his ears so damn big? And get rid of his beautiful blue eyes?? I had a specific memory of watching an HBO movie about LBJ in 2016 and liking it, so I was expecting this to be good—little did I know, HBO made two movies about LBJ in 2016 and this is apparently the bad one! And when I say bad, I mean bad! Etc., etc. There's a much more important issue that needs to be discussed. Please take a moment to think about this question: What color hair did JFK have? If you said dark grey, you'd be like me. I mean, look at this picture and tell me that's not what color it is! Well, color me surprised, because apparently this is a black and white photo and that means that even though everything in it looks to be various shades of grey, that's actually due to a specific type of photographic technology which is not capable of reproducing colors. Okay. Fine. Whatever. If this picture is concealing ...

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