Woody Harrelson Film Festival

Kathy Bates!! I really did not enjoy this movie even a little bit. Not even the short ties and tall pants combo was enough to win me over. Woody, of course, was the one good part of this movie. Unlike Kevin Costner's character, who is rich and annoying, Woody's character is poor and kind of sad. Furthermore, Woody's character actually questions what exactly gives him and his Texas Ranger Pal the right to kill Bonnie and Clyde (apart from Governor Kathy Bates). Obviously, he still shoots them to death (with what feels like a million bullets), but when they tow Bonnie and Clyde's bullet-ridden corpses into town and people start swarming them (gross), Woody does hit one eager reporter with a "shame on you." Wow.... If this movie was a thousand times better, it would have been fun to watch it right after Natural Born Killers , since those two movies place Woody on either side of what is essentially the same story. However, this movie was bad, beige-t...

I can see why this is one of the most controversial movies of all time—Woody doesn't wear a single hat in it. I guess it makes up for that by being the most stylish movie I've ever seen. I don't really know how to write about movies, so I don't know if that's the right word, but what I'm trying to say is that all the cameras were tilty and sometimes it was in black and white and sometimes it was in green and sometimes it was in color and there was almost always stock footage projected somewhere in the background. One of my favorite parts was when the words "too much t.v." were projected onto Mickey and Mallory's bodies. I like how subtle it is. The only other thing I'll say about this movie is that I think it would play a very important role were I ever to make a list of every Woody Harrelson movie in an order based on stages of his haircuts, so if you watched them all in that order Woody's hair in each movie would seamlessly t...

I think this is the kind of movie a film critic might call a "romp." I don't really know what that means, but for me it means it was fun and I enjoyed it. The only part of this movie that disappointed me was that it didn't include this  ABSOLUTE BANGER  from Disney Channel's 2018 hit  ZOMBIES, which literally has the word "zombieland" in it like one thousand times. The real reason we're here, though, is to talk about Woody. I am of the opinion that this role is exactly the kind of role Woody was born to play. There's something about his accent, or maybe his face, that just screams to me "crusty, edgy, and rude father figure with a secret heart of gold." I've seen Woody play this part before (though not yet on this blog), but it never gets old! The fun twist in the movie was obviously the zombies, but an additional twist was that I found Tallahassee, Woody's character, to be weirdly relatable in a couple specific ways: W...

This movie is basically Midsommar , if Midsommar took place in Texas in 1866, and if Midsommar had guns, and if Midsommar had more racism, and if Midsommar was about "justice" rather than (I'm not sure what Midsommar is about... girl power?). Liam Hemsworth is a Texas Ranger assigned by the governor to investigate the mysterious deaths of several Mexicans around a town where an infamous man called Preacher (played by Woody himself) lives. Of course, Preacher also killed Liam Hemsworth's dad in a duel about twenty years ago. Obviously, Liam is more than happy to go and investigate him. His wife insists on coming (maybe this movie IS about girl power after all??), so off they go. Much like the scary people in Midsommar, Preacher wears only outfits of solid white. This is a pretty sure sign of evil (see every single villain in a teen dystopian movie and also this ), and Woody wastes no time in confirming this stereotype. Turns out that on top of being the tow...

I LOVE this picture of Woody popping out of Missouri! This movie won an Oscar, I think, so it makes sense that I liked it because I HAVE VERY REFINED TASTE. Even though it was kind of a rough start (I'm just not sure why whoever made this movie chose NOT to capitalize the word "outside" in the title card. I get that its a preposition or whatever but I really think it's too long to be all lowercase in a situation where a person has chosen to capitalize every other word in the title!) Sorry, but this just looks dumb to me. If nothing was capitalized, it would be fine.  But enough of that! It's time to move on to the REAL reason we're all here: Woody! In this movie he plays a police chief named William Willoughby, which I think is a fun name. Even though sometimes I wish Woody had hair, I think the bald head really worked for this role, because this is the same hair every small town cop has. What sets Chief Willoughby apart from most small town cop...

With a horrific poster like this, I guess it should come as  no surprise that I did not enjoy this movie. Something you might not know if you're not a huge Woody fan like I am is that he isn't a great bowler. This will come as a major surprise to you if you've seen the 1996 blockbuster Kingpin , where Woody plays a man who is actually really good at bowling. Even though Woody's character doesn't end up winning the big bowling tournament, he still comes in second, which is a pretty big deal. I think it's a testament to Woody's incredible acting abilities that he delivers a totally convincing performance of someone who is a good bowler when in reality he is not a good bowler at all. I guess that's why we consider him to be one of the greatest actors of our time! Other than Woody's dazzling performance as a good bowler, this movie only has a few things going for it:  It's about bowling, which is my favorite sport.  It has Amish pe...